Define what success looks like together, before proposing solutions
Agree on the criteria a good solution must meet before either side proposes anything.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Agree on the criteria a good solution must meet before either side proposes anything.
- Why it works: Proposals invite immediate evaluation and counter-proposal — the ratchet of positional bargaining. Criteria shift the conversation one level up, to interests and values, where agreement is far easier. A shared success definition then acts as an objective standard against which any proposed solution can be judged, depersonalising the evaluation.
- Evidence: Backed by observational / correlational evidence.
- Avoid: Framing your own success criteria as the criteria, then asking the other side to add theirs — this reinstates the positional dynamic inside a criteria-setting frame.
Why it works
Proposals invite immediate evaluation and counter-proposal — the ratchet of positional bargaining. Criteria shift the conversation one level up, to interests and values, where agreement is far easier. A shared success definition then acts as an objective standard against which any proposed solution can be judged, depersonalising the evaluation.
How to do it
- 1Ask: "What does a winning solution look like to you? What must it accomplish?"
- 2List all stated criteria visibly (whiteboard, shared doc) so neither side feels unheard.
- 3Look for overlap and apparent conflicts in the criteria — both are information.
- 4Agree on the combined list before generating any solutions.
What the evidence says
ObservationalSeparating interests from positions is the most replicated finding in negotiation research. Groups that clarify joint success criteria before proposing reach more integrative agreements.
Honest caveat: Most of this research is in laboratory or organizational settings; real political and interpersonal conflicts introduce power dynamics that complicate the method.
- — Pruitt & Carnevale (1993), Negotiation in Social Conflict — review of integrative bargaining research
Common mistake
Framing your own success criteria as the criteria, then asking the other side to add theirs — this reinstates the positional dynamic inside a criteria-setting frame.
IX Coach helps you surface your real interests (not just your stated positions) and structures a shared criteria list you can take into a negotiation.
Practice this with IX Coach →