Probe for interests, not positions
Ask why the other side wants what they say they want before responding to what they say.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Ask why the other side wants what they say they want before responding to what they say.
- Why it works: Positions are claimed outcomes (“I need $80k”); interests are the underlying needs that position is meant to satisfy (“I need to cover rent and save for a car”). When parties expose interests, they often discover the overlap or complementarity that makes a trade possible. Staying at the position level eliminates options before they can be seen.
- Evidence: Backed by observational / correlational evidence.
- Avoid: Asking “why do you want that?” in a tone that reads as challenge rather than curiosity, which causes the other side to defend their position more rigidly.
Why it works
Positions are claimed outcomes (“I need $80k”); interests are the underlying needs that position is meant to satisfy (“I need to cover rent and save for a car”). When parties expose interests, they often discover the overlap or complementarity that makes a trade possible. Staying at the position level eliminates options before they can be seen.
How to do it
- 1State your own interest, not just your position, early in the conversation.
- 2Ask "What’s driving that number for you?" or "What would having that solve for you?"
- 3Listen for multiple interests behind a single stated position — there are usually several.
- 4Map the interests of both sides before proposing anything.
What the evidence says
ObservationalThe distinction between interests and positions is foundational to the Harvard Negotiation Project and is consistent with dual-concern theory, which shows that attending to both sides’ concerns predicts better joint outcomes than positional bargaining.
Honest caveat: Most evidence is from structured negotiation exercises and practitioner observation; controlled trials isolating this single move are limited.
- — Fisher, Ury & Patton (1991), Getting to Yes — the foundational interests-vs-positions framework
Common mistake
Asking “why do you want that?” in a tone that reads as challenge rather than curiosity, which causes the other side to defend their position more rigidly.
IX Coach surfaces your underlying interests before any difficult conversation and helps you frame questions that invite the other side to do the same.
Practice this with IX Coach →