Request the conversation the right way
A short, specific, no-pressure request gets far more responses than a vague networking ask.
Key takeaways
- What it is: A short, specific, no-pressure request gets far more responses than a vague networking ask.
- Why it works: People decline generic networking requests because the cost-benefit is unclear — what do you want, how long will it take, what’s in it for them? Specificity removes these unknowns: a clearly scoped 20-minute conversation about a specific topic, with an explicit "no job ask," lowers the perceived cost dramatically. Flattery about their specific work (not generic praise) activates the desire to be seen as a valued expert.
- Evidence: Plausible mechanism, limited direct outcome data.
- Avoid: Being vague about what you want or letting the "no job ask" promise erode during the meeting — both make the conversation feel like a disguised job application.
Why it works
People decline generic networking requests because the cost-benefit is unclear — what do you want, how long will it take, what’s in it for them? Specificity removes these unknowns: a clearly scoped 20-minute conversation about a specific topic, with an explicit "no job ask," lowers the perceived cost dramatically. Flattery about their specific work (not generic praise) activates the desire to be seen as a valued expert.
How to do it
- 1Find someone 2–3 levels above you doing work you genuinely want to understand.
- 2Write a 3–4 sentence message: who you are, exactly what you’re trying to understand, a specific thing about their work that makes them the right person to ask, and a request for 20 minutes.
- 3Include the explicit line: "I’m not looking for a job — I’m doing research and would love your perspective."
- 4Offer to accommodate their schedule entirely.
What the evidence says
MechanisticDirect outreach with a clear, low-cost ask has higher response rates than vague networking requests; this is consistent with cognitive load and reciprocity research. Bolles’s recommendation is practitioner consensus refined over decades of career counselling.
Honest caveat: Response rates vary enormously by industry, seniority, and medium; no controlled study has benchmarked informational interview request formats.
Common mistake
Being vague about what you want or letting the "no job ask" promise erode during the meeting — both make the conversation feel like a disguised job application.
IX Coach helps you identify the right person to reach out to and drafts a request message specific enough to generate a yes.
Practice this with IX Coach →