Use reciprocal concessions in negotiation
Make a large ask first; concede to your real ask — the concession feels like a gift.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Make a large ask first; concede to your real ask — the concession feels like a gift.
- Why it works: A concession, even from an inflated opening position, triggers the reciprocity norm: the person who receives a concession feels an obligation to concede in return. This is the door-in-the-face mechanism applied to negotiation. The key is that the concession must feel genuine — a fake move-down is usually detectable and produces hostility.
- Evidence: Backed by observational / correlational evidence.
- Avoid: Conceding on something you were never going to hold — for example, a fake requirement you introduced just to trade away — which experienced negotiators read immediately and which turns the norm into a liability.
Why it works
A concession, even from an inflated opening position, triggers the reciprocity norm: the person who receives a concession feels an obligation to concede in return. This is the door-in-the-face mechanism applied to negotiation. The key is that the concession must feel genuine — a fake move-down is usually detectable and produces hostility.
How to do it
- 1Open with a request that is larger than your actual goal but within the realm of plausibility.
- 2When pushed back on, concede to your real ask in a way that feels deliberate: "Alright — what I actually need is X."
- 3Acknowledge the concession explicitly: "I’m coming down from my original ask" — making the gift visible activates the norm.
What the evidence says
ObservationalCialdini et al. (1975) demonstrated the reciprocal concession effect (door-in-the-face): a large request refused followed by a smaller one produced significantly higher compliance than the smaller request alone.
Honest caveat: Effect sizes vary with the perceived reasonableness of the original request; an extreme opening ask can damage credibility and reduce the concession’s value.
- — Cialdini et al. (1975), Reciprocal concessions procedure for inducing compliance: The door-in-the-face technique, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Common mistake
Conceding on something you were never going to hold — for example, a fake requirement you introduced just to trade away — which experienced negotiators read immediately and which turns the norm into a liability.
IX Coach helps you map your negotiating range before the conversation, so you know which concessions are real, which to hold, and at what point to make the move.
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