JH
Jonathan Haber

Set the Goal — establish what the conversation is for

Begin every coaching conversation by clarifying what the person wants to achieve in this session.

Key takeaways

  • What it is: Begin every coaching conversation by clarifying what the person wants to achieve in this session.
  • Why it works: Without a clear goal for the conversation itself, the discussion expands to fill available time without producing a decision or commitment. Clarifying the session goal separately from the underlying life or work goal is the key distinction: "What do you want from this conversation?" is a different question from "What do you want to achieve in your career?" The session goal keeps the conversation productive within the time available and gives both parties a shared target.
  • Evidence: Plausible mechanism, limited direct outcome data.
  • Avoid: Skipping the session goal and jumping to the presenting problem — which makes the conversation reactive rather than purposeful and often ends without a clear output.

Why it works

Without a clear goal for the conversation itself, the discussion expands to fill available time without producing a decision or commitment. Clarifying the session goal separately from the underlying life or work goal is the key distinction: "What do you want from this conversation?" is a different question from "What do you want to achieve in your career?" The session goal keeps the conversation productive within the time available and gives both parties a shared target.

How to do it

  1. 1Open with: "What would you like to get out of our conversation today?" rather than "What’s the problem?"
  2. 2Clarify the session goal (end point of this conversation) separately from the long-term goal (end point of the broader project or challenge).
  3. 3Make the goal specific enough to be checkable at the end of the session: "By the end, you want to have decided X."
  4. 4If the person offers a vague goal ("I want to feel clearer"), help them make it specific: "What would clarity look like — what would you know or decide?"

What the evidence says

Mechanistic

Goal clarity is one of the most replicated predictors of coaching effectiveness. Goal-setting research finds that specific, challenging goals consistently outperform vague ones. The GROW goal phase applies this principle to the coaching conversation itself.

Honest caveat: The GROW model is a clinical framework with wide adoption; its specific superiority over alternative coaching frameworks has not been established in head-to-head trials.

References
  • — Locke & Latham (2002), building a practically useful theory of goal setting, American Psychologist

Common mistake

Skipping the session goal and jumping to the presenting problem — which makes the conversation reactive rather than purposeful and often ends without a clear output.

IX Coach opens every session by asking what you want to get out of it — a specific, checkable goal — so progress is measurable within each conversation, not just across months.

Practice this with IX Coach →

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