Complimenting Strengths Throughout the Session
Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Deliberately name real strengths, efforts, and resources the person displays — not as praise but as information.
- Why it works: Self-efficacy — belief that one is capable of achieving the desired outcome — predicts behavior change across domains. Genuine, specific compliments build self-efficacy by directing the person’s attention to evidence of their own competence they may have overlooked. The SFBT compliment is not cheerleading; it is a specific observation ("I notice you’ve kept showing up despite all of this — that’s not easy") that carries informational content about the person’s character.
- Evidence: Backed by observational / correlational evidence.
- Avoid: Complimenting effort and results without connecting them to the person’s character or the goal — "you worked hard" is less powerful than "working hard through this is evidence of the commitment you have to your family."
Why it works
Self-efficacy — belief that one is capable of achieving the desired outcome — predicts behavior change across domains. Genuine, specific compliments build self-efficacy by directing the person’s attention to evidence of their own competence they may have overlooked. The SFBT compliment is not cheerleading; it is a specific observation ("I notice you’ve kept showing up despite all of this — that’s not easy") that carries informational content about the person’s character.
How to do it
- 1Listen throughout the session for strengths the person demonstrates or describes, without waiting for an obvious opening.
- 2Name them specifically and immediately: "You drove 40 minutes to get here — that tells me how seriously you’re taking this."
- 3Connect the strength to the goal: "That persistence is exactly what this kind of change needs."
- 4Avoid generic ("great job!") or patronizing ("for someone in your situation") praise.
- 5End each session with a brief, genuine summary of strengths you observed in that session.
What the evidence says
ObservationalBandura’s self-efficacy research is the foundational evidence base — verbal persuasion (being told you can do it) is one of the four sources of self-efficacy, with vicarious experience and mastery experiences being stronger sources. Specific, grounded compliments are more effective than generic praise.
Honest caveat: Self-efficacy evidence is robust; SFBT complimenting as a specific delivery form has not been isolated from the broader SFBT package in controlled trials.
- — Bandura (1977), self-efficacy: toward a unifying theory of behavioral change, Psychological Review
Common mistake
Complimenting effort and results without connecting them to the person’s character or the goal — "you worked hard" is less powerful than "working hard through this is evidence of the commitment you have to your family."
IX Coach systematically reflects genuine strengths it observes across sessions, building an evidence-based case for your own capability that accumulates over time.
Practice this with IX Coach →