Hold conflicting perspectives without collapsing
When two people you respect disagree, hold both views as data instead of needing one to be simply right.
Key takeaways
- What it is: When two people you respect disagree, hold both views as data instead of needing one to be simply right.
- Why it works: The socialized mind tends to merge with whichever perspective is most present, flipping between them. The self-authoring mind can hold several perspectives simultaneously and adjudicate among them from its own standard. Practicing this — sitting with conflicting valid views without rushing to resolve the tension — builds the integrative capacity that authorship requires.
- Evidence: Plausible mechanism, limited direct outcome data.
- Avoid: Mistaking "hold both views" for never taking a position. Self-authorship integrates perspectives and then *decides* from your own standard — it doesn’t dissolve into endless even-handedness.
Why it works
The socialized mind tends to merge with whichever perspective is most present, flipping between them. The self-authoring mind can hold several perspectives simultaneously and adjudicate among them from its own standard. Practicing this — sitting with conflicting valid views without rushing to resolve the tension — builds the integrative capacity that authorship requires.
How to do it
- 1Take a real disagreement between two people you respect.
- 2Steelman both positions until each feels reasonable from inside.
- 3Form your own view by weighing them against your standard, rather than siding with the last voice.
What the evidence says
MechanisticHolding and coordinating multiple perspectives is a defining feature of the self-authoring mind in Kegan’s model and resembles "wise reasoning" constructs (perspective integration) that have their own observational support — though the developmental claim itself rests on theory.
Honest caveat: The connection between Kegan’s stage and wise-reasoning measures is suggestive; the stage construct is not validated by intervention trials.
- — Kegan, on coordinating perspectives at the self-authoring stage; Grossmann, wise-reasoning research
Common mistake
Mistaking "hold both views" for never taking a position. Self-authorship integrates perspectives and then *decides* from your own standard — it doesn’t dissolve into endless even-handedness.
IX Coach helps you steelman each side of a conflict and then reach your own judgment, building the capacity to hold complexity without outsourcing the decision.
Practice this with IX Coach →