Weigh action regret against inaction regret
Over a lifetime, the regrets that linger are usually the things you didn’t do.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Over a lifetime, the regrets that linger are usually the things you didn’t do.
- Why it works: In the short term people regret actions that went badly; but research finds that over the long run, inaction regrets — the chances not taken — dominate and persist. Naming both kinds explicitly corrects the in-the-moment bias toward avoiding action, which short-term regret aversion otherwise drives.
- Evidence: Backed by observational / correlational evidence.
- Avoid: Only weighing the regret of trying and failing, while ignoring the quieter, longer-lasting regret of never having tried.
Why it works
In the short term people regret actions that went badly; but research finds that over the long run, inaction regrets — the chances not taken — dominate and persist. Naming both kinds explicitly corrects the in-the-moment bias toward avoiding action, which short-term regret aversion otherwise drives.
How to do it
- 1For the decision, name the regret if you act and it fails.
- 2Name the regret if you never try at all.
- 3Weight the inaction regret heavily — it’s the one that tends to last.
What the evidence says
ObservationalSupported by research on the temporal profile of regret: while action regrets sting more immediately, inaction (regrets of omission) become the more enduring and frequently reported regrets over the long term.
Honest caveat: Findings are from self-report studies of remembered regret; the action/inaction balance varies by domain and is not a universal law.
- — Gilovich & Medvec (1995), the experience of regret — actions vs inactions over time, Psychological Review
Common mistake
Only weighing the regret of trying and failing, while ignoring the quieter, longer-lasting regret of never having tried.
IX Coach prompts you to articulate both action and inaction regret, giving due weight to the omission you’d otherwise overlook.
Practice this with IX Coach →