Interdependence as a daily relational practice
See every interaction as a mutual arising — you are not encountering a fixed person but a process that is partly shaped by your presence.
Key takeaways
- What it is: See every interaction as a mutual arising — you are not encountering a fixed person but a process that is partly shaped by your presence.
- Why it works: If all phenomena arise dependently, so does the person you are interacting with in this moment. Their behaviour is partly a function of the conditions you are providing — your tone, your assumptions, your openness or guardedness. Holding this insight prevents the reification of others ("she is just like that") and opens genuine responsiveness to the fact that your presence is part of the causal web.
- Evidence: Plausible mechanism, limited direct outcome data.
- Avoid: Treating interdependence as reducing individual agency ("nothing is my fault because everything is dependent") — the teaching is the opposite: your conditions genuinely matter.
Why it works
If all phenomena arise dependently, so does the person you are interacting with in this moment. Their behaviour is partly a function of the conditions you are providing — your tone, your assumptions, your openness or guardedness. Holding this insight prevents the reification of others ("she is just like that") and opens genuine responsiveness to the fact that your presence is part of the causal web.
How to do it
- 1Before a difficult conversation, remind yourself: "Who they are in this moment is partly conditioned by how I am showing up."
- 2After an interaction, ask: "What conditions did I introduce? Did I create the conditions for openness or defensiveness?"
- 3Do not use this as self-blame; use it as agency — you are a genuine condition in every interaction.
What the evidence says
MechanisticRelational framing of interactions — recognising mutual influence — is consistent with intersubjective approaches in psychotherapy (Stolorow, Orange) and with social psychological evidence that interaction partners systematically influence each other's behaviour.
Honest caveat: Intersubjective therapy research is largely case-based; this practice is a philosophical application of dependent origination, not a tested protocol.
Common mistake
Treating interdependence as reducing individual agency ("nothing is my fault because everything is dependent") — the teaching is the opposite: your conditions genuinely matter.
IX Coach's reflection prompts after logged interactions include a 'conditions you introduced' question, making the interdependence insight practically actionable rather than remaining abstract.
Practice this with IX Coach →