Courting the small self
Seek experiences that make you feel small in a good way — and notice the relief in it.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Seek experiences that make you feel small in a good way — and notice the relief in it.
- Why it works: Awe produces what researchers call the "small self": a felt sense of being one modest part of something much larger. Counterintuitively this is relieving, not diminishing — it loosens the grip of personal worries by re-scaling them against something vast, and it tilts people toward generosity and connection rather than self-protection.
- Evidence: Backed by randomized trials / meta-analyses.
- Avoid: Treating "feeling small" as something to resist or fix. The point is to let the re-scaling happen — fighting it to stay the center of the frame cancels the benefit.
Why it works
Awe produces what researchers call the "small self": a felt sense of being one modest part of something much larger. Counterintuitively this is relieving, not diminishing — it loosens the grip of personal worries by re-scaling them against something vast, and it tilts people toward generosity and connection rather than self-protection.
How to do it
- 1Deliberately place yourself near genuine vastness: a wide horizon, deep night sky, a great hall, the ocean.
- 2Let yourself feel small without rushing to reassert control or narrate it.
- 3Notice afterward whether your own problems feel re-proportioned.
What the evidence says
RCT / meta-analysisExperiments inducing awe (e.g. towering trees, vast vistas) find it produces a diminished sense of self-importance and increases prosocial and helping behavior relative to neutral or other positive emotions.
Honest caveat: Most studies are short-term lab inductions; the "small self" can feel threatening rather than freeing for people in acute distress, so it is not a fix for active overwhelm.
Common mistake
Treating "feeling small" as something to resist or fix. The point is to let the re-scaling happen — fighting it to stay the center of the frame cancels the benefit.
IX Coach helps you reframe a problem against the larger view after an awe experience, turning the small-self feeling into actual perspective on what you were stuck on.
Practice this with IX Coach →