A — Allow the experience to be as it is
Let what is present be here, without pushing it away, numbing it, or elaborating it.
Key takeaways
- What it is: Let what is present be here, without pushing it away, numbing it, or elaborating it.
- Why it works: Experiential avoidance — the attempt to suppress, escape, or control unwanted inner states — is a transdiagnostic mechanism that maintains anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms. Allowing reverses this: the emotional state is permitted to exist without the secondary layer of resistance that typically amplifies it. This is not approving of the emotion; it is removing the war on top of what is already present.
- Evidence: Established clinical or therapeutic practice.
- Avoid: Performing allowing as a verbal statement ("okay, I allow this") while internally still bracing or suppressing — the practice requires genuine somatic softening, not a cognitive declaration.
Why it works
Experiential avoidance — the attempt to suppress, escape, or control unwanted inner states — is a transdiagnostic mechanism that maintains anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms. Allowing reverses this: the emotional state is permitted to exist without the secondary layer of resistance that typically amplifies it. This is not approving of the emotion; it is removing the war on top of what is already present.
How to do it
- 1After recognizing the emotion, say internally: "This is here. I let this be here."
- 2Notice if there is a pull to fix, analyze, or escape — and allow that pull too.
- 3Breathe slowly and let the emotion be present in the body without narrating it.
- 4Stay with allowing for 60–90 seconds before moving to the next step.
What the evidence says
Clinical practiceAcceptance-based strategies have strong clinical trial support through ACT and DBT, both of which target experiential avoidance as a primary mechanism. The allowing step of RAIN operationalizes this mechanism in a meditation context.
Honest caveat: Evidence is for acceptance-based therapies as programs; the allowing step within RAIN as a standalone intervention has not been trialed. For trauma, allowing without appropriate support can be destabilizing — professional guidance may be needed.
- — Hayes et al. (2006), acceptance and commitment therapy, Behaviour Research and Therapy
Common mistake
Performing allowing as a verbal statement ("okay, I allow this") while internally still bracing or suppressing — the practice requires genuine somatic softening, not a cognitive declaration.
IX Coach guides the allowing step with breathing cues and body-softening prompts, distinguishing it from passive resignation or endurance.
Practice this with IX Coach →